1,2,3....

#1. Felicia felt like a copy cat now as she has a sudden urge to follow the way Xenia typed her latest post. LOL.

#2. Felicia is scared. She is afraid that something is going to happen to her eyes. =/ Perhaps it's due to lack of sleep. Perhaps it's due to the on and off crying that she had been going through for the past 1 month and 3 days. Perhaps it's due to the constant rubbing by her to wipe away the tears flowing out whenever she felt like crying. Perhaps it's just an imagination by her.

#3. Felicia is thinking too much about things. She thinks that she is going to get 厌食症. Hmm.. It's either she not hungry so she doesnt eat a thing and a proper meal of her day is the dinner cooked by her mum which she cannot not eat it. Or she is feeling too lazy to even go and have a bite. Or she is just too hungry to do so. Or she is feeling too full after eating that she felt like throwing all of them out of her stomach. But what stays in the stomach stays there even if she felt like throwing up. Reason 1: She thinks that it is too disgusting to see what you have eaten being thrown up. Reason 2: We must not waste food. There are so many people in other parts of the world with nothing to eat at all.

#4. Felicia does all the talking and not doing anything. It's easy to tell a person who has fallen out of love what they should do yet have I really did what I told myself to do?

ANSWER: NO.

I keep telling myself to keep myself busy. To go out, watch TV, play games, smile...etc. But whenever I am online, I would go to the same website, hoping that there would be some post. But all it contain is the playlist and I just keep listening to the songs over and over again...

#5. Felicia is now rushing for time. Yet she is still typing on her blog. Isn't she wasting her own time? Conclusion made by her is that she would continue this later when she is back from watching jumper and swimming at Valerie's house. Bye!

Continue...

#6. Felicia is pretending.
She is pretending that she is happy and smiling. She is pretending that everything is fine. She is pretending that everything would unwind in front of her sooner or later. She pretends that she is normal. She pretends that she has stopped loving him, missing him, caring for him. She pretends that he is no longer in her world. She pretends that all she need is friends. She pretends that she is strong. She pretends that she is not vulnerable. She pretends that she had forgotten about him, about the past, about the promises, about the memories, about the actions, about the gifts. She pretends that she isn't alone. She pretends that she is not feeling upset and disappointed. She pretends that she can learn to let go. She pretends that she can start anew. She pretends that nothing had changes much. She pretends that the moment she wake up from this nightmare, she will find that it's all a nightmare. She pretends that all the above are true.

#7. Felicia is ill. She has constant fever. Or is it the thermometer is spoilt that she is forever spotting a fever? She has her daily dose of running nose whenever she felt like crying. She has a headache for nothing. Now, she has a stomache for eating too full during dinner.

#8. Felicia dont wish to lie. She dont want to pretend to herself. She knows the truth that she wants. She knows that all she want is HIM for support. She knows that all might no longer be possible. She knows that he doesn't even give her a chance to even hope and dream for the impossible. She knows everything that he has yet to know. She knows that she did not appreciate people enough. She knows that she alwaays learn her lessons the hard way round since young. She knows that there have been lots of things that they have not yet done together. She knows that she is a burden. She knows that the story have been put a stop by him yet she is trying her best to changed the fullstop into a comma. She knows that she is stubborn and have hurt him more that he had hurt her by her words and actions. She knows that no matter how much she had done and said, he is not going to believe. She knows everything yet she still lies and pretends to herself, hoping the impossible.

#9. Felicia is attention seeking. Maybe to some, you might feel that I am doing so. If you think so, just press the Red X and leave this window. A blog is a place for one to express. So if you have something against me, just leave. I did not even force you to read this blog at all.
To others, thank you!

#10. Felicia is tired. She wants a good sleep. A sleep that isnt disturbed at all. A sleep that wont wake me up half way through and make me feel like I have not slept at all. Perhaps I took a long time to forget about my surroundings and end up sleep for 10 minutes and I stired awake again. After which, I tried falling asleep again, 10 minutes of deep sleep, I wake again... The process continues....